by Jennifer Swanson
Planning and organizing helps us prepare for the tangible aspects of a celebration. We might have calendars to keep track of events or checklists to make sure we accomplish everything on time. But there will always be parts of the holidays that cannot be planned, especially the spiritual, emotional and relational aspects.
I unpacked our Christmas Nativity set the day after Thanksgiving. I have to admit, in the past I have seen it primarily as a tradition—albeit an important reminder of the Christmas story. In contrast, my preschool-aged daughter, who has already spent hours rearranging the characters and retelling the story, has been experiencing it.
So, rather than giving you one more list of things to do, I’m offering you some ways to be.
Be present.
The first time I met my husband’s grandmother, she mistook me for her daughter. Her long-term memory had begun to eclipse her memories of more recent events. I realize that someday my short-term memory might fail, too; if it does, I want the remaining memories to be clear and rich. I’m learning that burning new memories into my mind means slowing down long enough to create them.
Take inventory of your senses, and isolate each one. What do you see? Maybe it’s a single poinsettia leaf or pine needle, or a flickering candle. Or maybe it’s a distinctive expression on the face of a loved one.
Be still and quiet. What do you hear? Something ordinary, like the clicking of the oven? Or something remarkable, like a single familiar voice among many? Over the years, I’ve heard dozens of people say that they knew my Dad was in the room because they recognized his laugh.
Unique smells can trigger specific memories and emotions, too. One of my favorites is baby shampoo. It had no special meaning to me until I smelled it on my own child’s hair after a bath. Which new smells can you introduce and assign to new memories?
Smell and taste go hand in hand. Wine tasters especially appreciate this; they take time to smell and contemplate the wine’s aroma before deliberately tasting it. Similarly, while eating a meal, slowing down and paying attention—to the smell, taste and texture—better honors both the meal and the person who prepared it.
Christmas offers us hundreds of opportunities to practice our often neglected sense of touch. Hug someone coming in from the cold. Hold your wooden and glass ornaments—or better yet, an older loved one’s hand.
Be flexible.
Sometimes we make holidays and celebrations stressful because we choose unrealistic expectations. Sometimes we choose unhelpful responses to unexpected changes of plans. Sometimes we completely misunderstand each other and choose not to find out why.
Spontaneity is not my forte! It means giving up control, taking risks, and admitting that there might be a better alternative to my plans. But when I practice presence, it’s easier to be flexible. Moments become more important than time. Memories become more important than plans. And in my experience, some of the best memories come from the unexpected.
Be thankful.
My young children live fully, honestly and inquisitively. They experience and absorb new things on an hourly basis, year round. In their lives, there is no “small stuff.” They take nothing for granted.
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We adults take life for granted, and not just when we fail to notice the gifts around us. Perhaps more seriously, we undervalue our gifts when we recognize one, but don’t pause long enough to savor it. The more we acknowledge that everything in life is a gift, the more we recognize the abundance of gifts, and the more we appreciate the Giver of those gifts.
Amidst all the wonders of the Christmas story, the gospel writer Luke notes, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19). I’m sure all the events surrounding her Son’s birth overwhelmed Mary. She knew she would want to remember every detail for the rest of her life. So Mary pondered.
I’m speaking to myself, too, when I say this: Slow down. Find a pace that allows you to relish and remember moments this Christmas. Notice the miraculous. The greatest gifts cannot be found under the tree.
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